Romanian wedding - Which is more important? The church or the restaurant?

A Romanian wedding is a really fabulous day. I have often thought how much fun it would be to regularly gate crash them - after all a party is a party is a party. But this one has a nasty sting in its tail - before you leave - you need to present an envelope covering the cost of the meal, day and a gift. Which makes going to a normal restaurant a far more appealing option.

A weird thing about marrying in Romania is you need to announce the Banns via the British embassy and also in the local town hall. This means anyone can make a complaint if they wished. I can understand this in the olden days, where everyone lived in small communities and knew each other. The chances however that I would go on a daily basis to check the latest batch of foreigners weddings is slim - added to touring all the town halls. So I doubt anyone sees a problem wedding at this stage! (Apart of course the future parent - in laws - who like predicting disasters!)

The venue itself is really important to a Romanian wedding as it shows the world just how high up your contacts are. We have been to little bars and went to an incredibly cool place in the centre of town that contained a huge park, a small waterfall and a luxurious restaurant with a chocolate fountain machine. Only the highest members of the Romanian National Bank could hire this elite, police guarded area, so we were naturally impressed. We eat at a restaurant owned by the Science Academy so again used inside contacts to hire it. You first find the venue, then you announce the wedding, then you find a church that has a slot. There is none of this 'You must attend at least 6 weeks beforehand to wed here' malarkey. You just need to provide cash and choose somewhere that will look nice in your photo collection!

The Romanian wedding invitations were a nightmare to organise it took them three print runs to get them right. The first time they got my name wrong, the second was the wrong date and by the third attempt, still with minor errors, I just gave up all together!

The problem with weddings is that no Romanian wedding is better than your own, and we still consider we had the best one ever - if modesty can allow me to say such things.

The worst Romanian wedding I have been to was probably the one with belly dancers - men were enthusiastically shoving dollars down their bras and pants. My wife perplexed me as I was cringing in embarrassment as to why I was not following suit. I pointed out that she was next to me and also why would I waste our limited resources on such women.

In the same Romanian wedding, they had the belief that the louder the music, the better it was. I guess they are the sorts who also drive their cars and share their taste in music with the world up to half a mile away. So we couldn't even dance.

A top Romanian folk singer led another Romanian wedding - it was one of the most lavish weddings we went to - I had never met them before or since.

The wedding reception is long, a mix of long meals with lots of alcohol. I love it as it is one of the only times I can drink gin and tonics freely. There seems to be remarkably little beer served at these venues. It is mainly spirits, wine and coke. The last one of these is always consumed in vast quantities. For a nation where eating well and naturally is still very much part of the culture, this comes as a big surprise to me. There is of course also a constant supply of sparkling and flat water. The amazing thing being that despite there always being a free bar, I don't ever recall seeing anyone blind drunk, as you would at a British wedding.

The bride gets kidnapped and the groom must pay a pre-determined amount. I was curious to know if the groom ever was having too much fun and didn't pay for ages. I know my wife did not enjoy being kidnapped, as with a top party going on downstairs, she didn't actually want to miss a second of it as I tried to rescue her. It is the chance of showing everyone how much you appreciate her.

There are no speeches - not that it stopped dad saying one in Romanian. His speeches were always unpredictable so others had prepared follow speeches! Fortunately it was really nice - so all the other speeches went unsaid.

Last piece of advice - pay to keep the camera and video people to the end. My British friends got the dJ stupidly drunk and he, along with the English sang a serenade to the new Mrs. Fogarty before driving off home. Sadly a moment missed by the film crew.

Please share with us your experiences of weddings in Romania. Which were good and which were complete disasters? Have married or plan to marry in Romania? Tell more about your special day.

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